Amategeko 14 y’urukundo akwiye kuranga buri mukobwa

Mu buzima bwacu bidusaba kugira amategeko cyangwa umurongo ngenderwaho kugira tugere kubyo twifuza. Iri n’ihame abantu twese duhuriyeho mu buzima, no m’urukundo rero naho n’uko. Muri iy’inkuru turibanda ku mategeko 14 akwiye kuranga umukobwa mu rukundo nkuko urubuga rwa elcrema rwa bigaragaje.

1.Wikwihutira gushaka umugabo

Gukora ubukwe ukava mu nzu ya so na nyoko ni indoto za buri mukobwa aho ava akagera. Ariko gukora ubukwe bihabanye no kubaka urugo rugakomera. Kubyitondamo no kutabihubukira ni ingenzi cyane. Wirebera ku bandi , ingendo y’undi iravuna . Wikoreshwa n’igitutu cy’abantu ngo wihutire gushaka umugabo kuko sibo bazakubakira. Gushaka umugabo ukubaka urwawe ntawe bitanyura ariko kubaka rugakomera bikaba byiza kurushaho. Nta kikwirukansa, kandi ngo iyihuse yabyaye igihumye. Niba utarabona umugabo ni uko igihe kitaragera kandi byanze bikunze uwo Imana yakugeneye arahari.

2.Ntukibeshye ko imibonano mpuzabitsina ari ikimenyetso cy’urukundo

Mu mitego myinshi abakobwa bakunda guhura nayo uyu uza mu ya mbere. Kumva ko kuryamana n’umusore ari ikimenyetso cyiza cyo kumugaragariza urukundo ni ukwibeshya cyane. Ni bangahe se baryamana nyuma bagatandukana ? Nubwo mwaryamana ntimubura gutandukana. None se uko ukundanye n’umusore muzajya muryamana ngo ukunde umugaragarize ko umukunda ? Uzajya kubaka urwawe utarabaye imbata y’ubusambanyi ? Uzubaka rukomere ?

3.Ntugategere umusore amaboko iteka

Iyi nayo ni ingeso abakobwa bamwe bakunda kugira. Mu rukundo ugasanga ibibazo bye byose agomba kubikemurirwa n’umusore w’inshuti ye. Iyo bimeze bitya uretse no kuba umubera umutwaro aho kumubera umukunzi, agaciro yaguhaga karagabanuka ndetse akagera n’aho akwinuba. Shakisha akazi cyangwa icyo gukora kikwinjiriza bizatuma akubaha kurushaho.

4.Ntuzashakane n’umusore umukurikiyeho amafaranga/ubutunzi

Abakobwa benshi bakunda kwitiranya amafaranga /ubutunzi no kuzagira umunezero mu rugo baba bagiye kubaka. Yego si mabi ariko sinayo shingiro ry’ibyishimo by’umuryango. Iyo umusore aguteretesheje amafaranga /ubutunzi, mugasezerana mukabana, akenshi iyo mugeze mu rugo agufata nka kimwe mu bintu atunze yaguze. Uzi impamvu ? Ni uko wamukunze aricyo ukurikiye kurusha urukundo wari umufitiye kandi na we yarabibonaga si impumyi. Ni byiza gushingira ku rukundo aho gushiturwa n’ibintu.

5.Ntukanywe ibisindisha

Abakobwa benshi muri iki gihe basigaye bafata ku gahiye. Uko umugabo asinda siko umukobwa yasinda. Umukobwa wasinze aragayika cyane. Umukobwa watangiye kurara mu tubari aba yatangiye kuba icyomanzi. Iyo ageze mu rwe nabwo biramugora ndetse n’uburere bw’abana be bukaba busa n’ubwa ntabwo. Bibiliya ku bayemera ivuga ko vino ari umukobanyi. Ni byiza ko wareka kunywa inzoga. Uretse no kukugayisha , inzoga zigira ingaruka nyinshi mbi ku buzima.

Bizakugora kubona umusore mukundana wiyubashye mu gihe wahindutse umusinzi ukaba inshuti ya manyinya. Kubona umugabo uhamye mwabana rugakomera bizaushaho kugukomerera kuko nta musore wapfa kwisukia umukobwa umurusha kunywa ibisindisha.

6.Ntukambare impenure, uwambaye neza agaragara neza

Kwambara neza no kwiyitaho biba muri kamere y’abagore muri rusange. Kwambara neza ni ukwambara imyambaro itagutesha ikuzo mu bandi. Iyo wambaye neza buri muntu wese aguha agaciro ukwiriye. Zirikana ko kwambara imyenda igaragaza ubwambure bwawe nayo igira ubutumwa itanga ku bakubona kandi butari bwiza. Mu Kinyarwanda abavuga ko agapfundikiye gatera amatsiko.

Nugenda werekana ubwambure bwawe umusore azakugirira ayahe matsiko kandi byose wabimweretse ? Ahubwo azakoresha imbaraga zose birangire agusambanyije ahubwo gushishikarira kukugira umugore .

Kwambara neza si ukwambara ibihenze ahubwo ni ukugirira isuku imyamabaro yawe , kumenya kujyanisha amabara, kwambara ibikubera atari ibyo wigannye bagenzi bawe kandi bitagendanye n’imiterere yawe,..

7.Ite ku mirire yawe

Abakobwa n’abagore bakunda ibiribwa n’ibinyobwa biryoherera birimo amasukari menshi. Si byiza ku buzima bw’umuntu. Nubwo ubifata wumva bifite uburyohere ninako bigira ingaruka mbi ku buzima. Uri kwikururira indwara ya diyabeti/igisukari . Ugomba gutangira kwitabira imyitozo ngororamubiri kuko igira akamaro kanini harimo kugabanya isukari mu mubiri, kuyaza ibinure mu rwego rwo kwirinda umubyibuho,…

8.Ntukifuze gukundwa nk’uko ubibona muri sinema, bitandukanye no mu buzima busanzwe

Abakobwa benshi hanze aha baba bumva bakundwa n’abasore urukundo babona muri sinema zinyuranye z’inkundo. Nyamara siko ibintu byose abakundana muri sinema bakora byashoboka cyangwa byakorwa mu buzima busanzwe. Hari amasomo twabigiraho ariko si byose.
Si buri musore wese mwakundana wabasha kuguha impano y’imodoka nkuko bikinywa mafilimi amwe n’amwe. Si buri musore wese mwakundana ngo ajye abona ubushobozi bwo kugusohokana buri gihe,…Sigaho guhora mu nzozi no kugereranya sinema n’ubuzima kuko akenshi ntibihura.
Ibi bigendana no kurebera ku bandi bagenzi bawe. Iteka ukumva umusore mukundana yagukunda cyangwa akagukorera ibyo wabonye nyirakanaka bamukorera. Ni imyumvire itariyo. Ubushobozi bw’abantu ntibungana kandi baca umugani ngo ingendo y’undi iravuna.

9.Ntukifuze kwakira gusa

Kwikunda mu rukundo iteka ukumva ko bagukundwakaza, ko umusore mukundana agomba kuvunika cyane , ko agomba guhora agutetesha ,..bituma utaryoherwa n’urukundo. Urikunda wowe ntushaka gutanga no kugaragaza amarangamutima yawe.
Umuhanga mu mibanire y’abantu Anthony Robbins yavuze ko kugira ngo umubano urambe biba byiza iyo wumva watanga byinshi kuruta uko wumva wakakira gusa. Birumvikana kuko nushyiramo imbaraga ukammwereka urukundo rutarimo imbereka, ntazazuyaza kugukorera nk’ibyo umukorera ndetse wenda akarushaho kuko yizihiwe.

10.Ntugategereze ibyishimo byawe ku bandi

Abakobwa benshi binjira mu rukundo bumva ariho bagiye kubona isoko y’ibyishimo byabo. Wikumva ko mugenzi wawe ariwe ushinzwe ibyishimo byawe. Ntuzategereze ko agukorera ibyo ushaka ngo wishime. Ibyishimo byawe ni wowe bigirira umumaro. Wimwikoreza umutwaro wo kubigushakira wowe nta ruhare ushaka kubigiramo. Urukundo nyarukundo si aho umuntu aba agiye kubonera amaronko. Ni amarangamutima muba mugomba gusangira.

11.Ntukite ku makosa gusa

Ntamuntu kuri iyi si udakosa cyangwa ngo agire ingeso zitari nziza mu maso y’abandi. Wikwita ku bibi by’umusore mukundana ahubwo mukundire ibyiza akwereka bityo uzumva urushijeho kunezezwa n’urukundo rwanyu. Nawe nturi shyashya , hari aho utamubanira neza. Wikumva ko ugomba kwita ku makosa ye. Ushobora no kuba umurusha ingeso mbi.

12.Ntugahore umwitsiritaho

Urukundo rwiza ni urutanga umwitangirizwa. Shyiramo intera mu gihe muhurira. Nubikora gutya bizabarinda kurambirana ahubwo nihacaho iminsi mudahura wumve umukumbuye ndetse wumve ugize ubwuzu bwo kumubona. Si byiza ko aho ari ariho ubarizwa, aho anyuze nguwo muri kumwe. Murambirana vuba.

13.Ntukabike inzika

Niba mugenzi wawe agukoshereje, wibiha umwanya munini kandi atari ni ikosa rikomeye. Kubabarira ni indangamuntu ku bakundana. Niba uko agukosereje ubika inzika,hari icyiza uzamubonamo ? Uzigera uryoherwa n’urukundo mukundana ? Nugera igihe cyo gushaka urumva urugo rwawe rutazarangwa n’amatiku gusa ? Yego rimwe na rimwe usanga bigoye kwibagirwa ikosa umukunzi wawe yagukoreye cyane cyane iyo ryagukoze ku mutima ariko si byiza ko wumva ko warigenderaho mu buzima bwanyu bwose ngo akabaye kose uribyutse.

14.Mufatanye

Iyo mushyize hamwe mwese mugashakira hamwe inyungu z’umubano wanyu nibwo muryoherwa .Gufatanya bigendana no guhanga udushya. Buri wese agahora yiga cyangwa ashakisha icyakongerwamo gishya mu rukundo rwanyu. Urumva ko buri wese narwana intambara yo guhanga udushya muzibera mu isi y’umunezero gusa. Umusore siwe kampala , nawe ugomba kugira ibishya uhanga mu rukundo rwanyu.

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About the Author: Jean paul Nsanzabera

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